The Best Way to Respond
October 6, 2020Talk is Cheap
October 24, 2020By Daniel Rendelman of the Hope Network
The story is told of a man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.
As they pass the cookie section, the little girl screams for cookies. The mother says, “Now Missy, we only have a few more aisles to go—don’t throw a fit. It won’t be long.” In the candy aisle, the little girl whines for candy. The mother says, “There, there, Missy, don’t cry. Two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.”
When they get to the checkout stand, the little girl howls for gum. The mother says, reassuringly, “Missy, we’ll be done in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze.” In the parking lot, the man stops the woman to compliment her.
“I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Missy,” he says. The mother sighs, “Oh, no—my little girl’s name is Francine. I’m Missy.”
It really is amazing what we can accomplish when we are determined. For me I struggle with the determination to get out of bed sometimes. I reach over and hit that snooze button again , and again, and again. Often, I’ll wait until the very last opportunity to rise and shine. I’m probably not alone here. Aren’t there things you should have done or could have done but instead didn’t? (Think about that dirty air conditioner filter or vehicle that is thousands of miles past due for an oil change!)
Let’s be honest, everyone procrastinates.
Perhaps we did it in school when we crammed all night for an exam, or we still do it today when we wait to clean the house right before some guests show up. With work we procrastinate in different ways – like putting off that is hard tasks until later. And then later never comes. Reports to be completed add up. Hard conversations are seldom held. We know we should be getting out of bed, but we hit that snooze button one more time!
Procrastination stops us from doing things today that will benefit our future. What we can learn from this is that deferment is a basic human trait. “Why put off today what you can put off tomorrow,” a friend once told me. We know we should do more sooner but it’s often easier to think about making those sales calls or writing that email than actually doing those tasks. We exude energy thinking about the activity and that suffices for today. The only solution to such detrimental behavior is an idea that no one enjoys – that’s having a deadline. (Sorry I used the D-word!)
Deadlines are like an alarm clock’s snooze button. They literally make us do things when we really don’t want to. You must get out of the bed or you may be late to work and possibly lose your job. You know those taxes must get filed. You don’t want your house to smell rotten so must take the garbage to the side of the road for collection.
Without the pressure of a deadline nothing happens. This is what I call the “Snooze Button Principle.” We only do what we feel like we have to do, when we absolutely have to do it.
Deadlines take away our choices and provide just enough incentive to provoke activity. And while we often fret when we think of deadlines, let’s reframe our focus here to see them in a positive light. Deadlines are good for us because they stop the cycle of delay. Time limits limit our time on projects, so we aren’t totally consumed or overwhelmed. Furthermore, cutoffs can even be celebrations. Yes, your next deadline can be used as a time for positive recognition that you’ve accomplished a task or goal. Stop and experience the feeling of accomplishment as you knock those items off your to-do list. When you stop and celebrate little wins throughout the day you build up positivity and procrastination become a thing of the past. Hard stops can be used purposefully to celebrate our grit to get stuff done at work or home.
Procrastination steals our joy as it produces anxiety and worry until we finally push ourselves to rush into action. Being determined to say, “I will ____ by ______” can limit our stalling so we are more peaceful and productive. We need more deadlines in our lives and more celebrations during those deadlines. So, go for it and use the “Snooze Button Principle.” Set a deadline and see your goals become reality.
